Hello dear loggers, today I would like to make a formal apology to my friends, to be more specific my brothers(i noe you would disown me for my behaviors)...
Through my struggle on life I have never think to blame myself for the wrong doings tht i have done to myself or others... With this I tend to blame others for my failures and griefs..(I noe ur blogs are meant for me), I mostly blame my brothers for this... To start with I decided to join them, I decided to hangout with them, I decided all tht, but still I still blame myself... I noe i have not been discreet in this and so im sorry..
It bothers me to see tht, I would rather blame them before myself, they are imperfect, HECK no one is.. Im the Crudest amongst all these... My thoughts are diminished and replaced with hatred but I noe tht is wrong... WHY is the capital answer for this... I noe all of you think nw is "WTF fey, you decided to join us kan? Nw ur blaming it all on us?? FUCK YOU!!!!".... I cant blame all of you for thinking like this because its all my damn fault.... Hating you people is the last thing i want to do.. but i did it.. You stood up for me, cried with me, you even comforted me when no one was there to do so... BUT I STILL PUSH ALL OF YOU AWAY!!! I HATE MYSELF FOR DOING SO!!!!! You are more than brothers to me, more than family ties can ever be, all of you were my best friends.....But I started the fire and I was burned in it in the proses...
I have had soo many hate blogs abt myself, but your writings are the most painful to see because i noe it is all my fault... Nw i only seek forgiveness from all of you but if you all choose not to grant it I understand as i Deserve this punishment... Through this I am weak to blame others for my mistakes... And to tell you the truth, I have never thought abt the feeling of others before... And i noe I have misplaced all of your trust...
I will never forget the good times we had together, My brothers Kamil, Haziq (ben) and Syafiq (ustad)........
Forgive me as i am only human in the blight of His will...
Sincerely Muhammad Fariz (Fey) bin Ridzwan
No comments:
Post a Comment